Summer of Peace
So last year, I had what first appeared to be the worst job in the history of Silicon Valley. I had an asshole Aussie, chauvinistic boss trying to push me out of my organization for having a brain in my head and using my intelligence to "question" his direction of our department. Long story short: He was an asshole.
He cleverly included me in the group of people who were being outsourced to India and I was notified in December that my job was "going away" in June of this year. I was devastated. I spent months trying to justify this rationale...Trying to understand who in upper-management had left me on the chopping block. I spent years dedicating myself to this amazing company, drinking the corporate koolaide and for what? For a six month severance and unemployment? For six months of paid time off with the opportunity to find a better space after a summer with my daughter? Time off to spend any way I so desire? Wow, who cursed me with such a shitty deal? Who can I hug and pat on the back for setting me free?
I passed the time to June and left this monster company with barely a peep. (Okay, there was that can of whoop-ass that had to be opened when they tried to screw me on the severance, but aside from that, I went quietly.) And then I woke up each morning and did things that I probably have never done mid-week (except for major holidays). I made breakfast, took long showers, packed lunch for a day trip to the park or the beach. I called old friends. I learned to mountain bike. I cleaned my apartment and moved the sentimental clutter to a storage unit. And slowly, I began to breathe again. I noticed the little things, like the smell of the air in the morning and I tasted the Starbucks latte that I used to drink like water. I noticed my daughters smile and heard her laugh with me. We played together and she learned how to ride a bike without training wheels (with me). I made dinner, enjoyed music and wine.
I found myself...Buried under layers of corporate fluff and years of denial, of suffering and feeling unworthy to have anything truly beautiful in my life. Yes, the flogging had finally passed.
And then something even more magical happened. Another great company tracked me down and asked me to grace them with my expertise. They gave me more money, an office and tell me daily that I am valued. I have balance - work is 9-5 and when I need to go be a Mom, I have flexibility to do so.
And I have never been in a better space.
He cleverly included me in the group of people who were being outsourced to India and I was notified in December that my job was "going away" in June of this year. I was devastated. I spent months trying to justify this rationale...Trying to understand who in upper-management had left me on the chopping block. I spent years dedicating myself to this amazing company, drinking the corporate koolaide and for what? For a six month severance and unemployment? For six months of paid time off with the opportunity to find a better space after a summer with my daughter? Time off to spend any way I so desire? Wow, who cursed me with such a shitty deal? Who can I hug and pat on the back for setting me free?
I passed the time to June and left this monster company with barely a peep. (Okay, there was that can of whoop-ass that had to be opened when they tried to screw me on the severance, but aside from that, I went quietly.) And then I woke up each morning and did things that I probably have never done mid-week (except for major holidays). I made breakfast, took long showers, packed lunch for a day trip to the park or the beach. I called old friends. I learned to mountain bike. I cleaned my apartment and moved the sentimental clutter to a storage unit. And slowly, I began to breathe again. I noticed the little things, like the smell of the air in the morning and I tasted the Starbucks latte that I used to drink like water. I noticed my daughters smile and heard her laugh with me. We played together and she learned how to ride a bike without training wheels (with me). I made dinner, enjoyed music and wine.
I found myself...Buried under layers of corporate fluff and years of denial, of suffering and feeling unworthy to have anything truly beautiful in my life. Yes, the flogging had finally passed.
And then something even more magical happened. Another great company tracked me down and asked me to grace them with my expertise. They gave me more money, an office and tell me daily that I am valued. I have balance - work is 9-5 and when I need to go be a Mom, I have flexibility to do so.
And I have never been in a better space.
posted by MILF @ 9:20 AM
1 Comments:
At April 16, 2007 at 11:53 PM,
alex said…
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